Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thunder Cats and Black Eyes / May Highlights

"You Want a Cat?"

That's what my dad said to me as soon as I got out of my car at his house Memorial Day weekend. My dad's outdoor cat had another litter of kittens. They really need to fork out the $30 and have the cat spayed. Anyhoo, he had been so busy with the house addition that he didn't even know Midnight had had kittens until they were about four weeks old and he found them in the shed while he was in there searching for something... the man keeps EVERYTHING. You never know when you may need this... But I digress.

He informed me that there were four or maybe five kittens out in the shed. I should have known better than to even look. I have such an affinity for cats... especially kittens with their big bobble heads and short spikey tails. Of course I HAD to save one of them. The rest would end up feral strays. The only one I managed to coax out of hiding and grab was a little solid black one who looked just like his mother. Luckily he was a male because that's what I wanted. We named him Lucky, but we usually call him "The Little Guy".


This picture was taken just a week or so ago. I'll have to find my other data card from the camera and post some pics of when he was tiny. He and Timmy are buddies. They clean each other and nap together and best of all wrestle and chase each other around the house. They're so loud we started calling them "Thunder Cats" (HO!).

Don't Mess with The TABLE!

I was getting my brother's trailer ready for him to take camping for Memorial Day weekend. It had been parked in my driveway for a month or so and the girls had been camping out in it on the weekends. I had the table upside down on the bed and was attempting to fold down the legs of the table. I was pushing the locking mechanism and pulling on the leg... and nothing was happening... so I hit the leg in the direction it was supposed to go and it CLOSED... and hit my eye on its way down.

I immediately thought I'd put my eye out because I couldn't see out of it and all I could feel was blinding pain. But I just ended up with a deep bruised cheekbone that STILL hurts now at the end of July! For a couple weeks, I had this sore, puffed up, "black" eye going on. It was a uncomfortable, but not unbearably painful. It wasn't my first shiner, and it probably won't be my last.


and a close-up


Here's the thing though... it's the first black eye I've had in over four years.... the four years since I left X. That first morning with the black eye, I actually thought about trying to cover it up somehow with makeup... or trying to get away with wearing my sunglasses all day without anyone getting suspicious... WTF? I figured out it was just the old memories of having a black eye and all that entailed back then. The same kind of feelings come up when I get bruises on my upper arms. I think about wearing longer sleeve shirts to hide them... like I did back then.

I really had to fight those feelings that first week... especially the first day because Maya had her school program that morning and I was there with all the other parents... hoping that they didn't think I was in an abusive relationship... feeling that same SHAME that I used to feel going out in public with a black eye or bruised cheekbone. I shouldn't have felt shame back then, and I certainly shouldn't have felt it because of a completely accidental table-folding incident. Ah, the joys of PTSD. The gift that keeps on giving.

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