Abusers really AREN'T too sneaky. They WILL tell you and show you who they really are very early in the relationship, but only if you are aware of the warning signs and are paying close attention. If you're one of the millions of women (or men) out there who are in the dating world, here's a short list of some warning signs (better known as RED FLAGS) that you may be getting involved with an abusive person.
*Constantly asks you where you are going, who you are with, etc.
*Insists that you spend all or most of your time with him, isolating you from friends and family
*Accuses you of flirting with others or having sexual relationships with others
*Monitors your clothing and make-up
*Displays anger when things don't go his way
*Attempts to make all your decisions
*Is secretive about past relationships
*Speaks of his exes in a derogatory way
*Makes negative remarks about women
*Was abused by a parent
*Was raised in a home where domestic abuse was present
*Gets very serious with you very quickly. Says "I love you" very early in the relationship
*Wants to move in together or get engaged after only a few months
*Pressures you for a serious commitment after only a short time dating
*Comes on very strong, is extremely charming and an overly smooth talker
*Isolates you from your support systems; wants you all to himself; tries to keep you from friends, family and outside activities
*Attempts to control what you wear, what you do, who you see, etc.
*Is abusive toward other people, especially his mother or sisters
*Blames others for his own bad behavior and failures
*Has unrealistic expectations, such as expecting partner to meet all of his needs and be perfect
*Is overly sensitive; acts "hurt" when he doesn't get his way; takes offense when others have a differing opinion
*Gets very upset over small inconveniences that are just a part of normal life
*Has EVER been cruel to animals
*Has EVER abused children
*Has EVER hit a girlfriend in the past
*Has EVER threatened violence to anyone, even if it wasn't a serious threat
*Calls you names, puts you down or curses at you
*Has extreme mood swings; switching quickly from being very nice to raging
*Believes women are inferior to men and should obey them
*Uses physical intimidation such as threatening body language, punching walls or breaking objects
*Holds you against your will to keep you from walking away or leaving the room
If you pick up on some of these RED FLAGS, save yourself years of pain and anguish and END the relationship NOW.
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