Mother's Little Helper OR Thank God for The Rolling Stones

As some of you may know, I have four children. The older two are full-grown adults and the younger two are sugary sweet like cotton candy (at times) little girls.



There they are. How adorable! Don't let their sweet little faces fool you. There are times when I KNOW why some animals eat their young. Yesterday's terror ride home from Salt Lake City is a prime example of this.

Yesterday's trip to Salt Lake City for my step-daughter's (2nd ex-husband's daughter) birthday party was TYPICAL. Let me explain what a typical hour-long excursion in the family car actually means by describing our little "adventure".

First, neither of the girls wanted to leave the party when I said it was time to go. Of course they didn't. They were having too much fun playing pool and basketball with their sister and "cousins". I was grateful to Grandma Sindy, who managed to somehow talk both girls into the car and get them buckled into their car seats without too much of a commotion.

I turned the key in the ignition, and all hell broke loose. Maya started crying and screaming and whining and basically having a tantrum of two-year-old proportions (she's almost NINE mind you) because she didn't want to leave. Then Penelope started screaming at me to make Maya stop her tantrum. The little car was engulfed in noises that resembled two feral cats fighting in a small, steel culvert; the girls simultaneously screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!!!!!" and "MAKE HER STOP SCREAMING!!!!" I just gripped the steering wheel and kept driving, carefully ducking the small objects being thrown at me from the back seat, and keeping control of the car while it was being jostled around by Maya's kicking and hitting her door.

Penelope eventually gave up and got quiet. Maya, on the other hand, changed up her tactics and started screaming that she wanted her blanket... the blanket I had, of course, removed from the back seat earlier THAT DAY to throw in with the laundry. Her cries then cycled between "I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!!!!" and "I WANT MY BLANKET!!!!" This continued for, oh, I don't know, about TWENTY MINUTES. I had driven in silence after my initial, "SHUT UP!" because I KNEW from past experience that NOTHING I said or did would make a lick of difference.

When I just couldn't take anymore, and I was on the verge of becoming my father, and just reaching back there with my free hand and swinging at anything that moved, I grabbed my little MP3 player that, thankfully, was in the console, and stuffed the earbuds in my ears. I cranked the volume as high as it would go. And what to my wondering ears did I hear?

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today"
I hear every mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper

I just had to laugh to myself. I couldn't help it. Of course, understanding the telepathy of my life, my MP3 player would be playing exactly what I needed to hear. I don't have any "little yellow pills" or even any bottles of murky firewater to calm me down, but what I do have is Mick, Keith, Charlie and Ronnie. Thank God for The Rolling Stones! Sing it with me, brothahs and sistahs! Amen!

Getting a Little Sidetracked OR Queen of the Excuses

I was doing really well with the walking... cold weather, snow, rain and all... then I enrolled the girls in Itty Bitty Cheer Camp...

I get off work at 5:00. Their cheer camp lasted until 6:30. That left me with an hour and a half to drive home, change clothes, walk two miles and pick them up on time. The first day of camp (Monday, February 9), I walked the outdoor track at Mountain Veiw High School as that is where the camp was held. I had just enough time to walk two miles and get to the cheer room to pick up the girls. Tuesday, I was babysitting my niece and nephew at 6:30, and had to pick up Valentine's Day crap on my way home from work (note: I despise Valentine's Day altogether... but that's another story). This left me with no time to walk before picking up the girls and sitting the kids. And I was just NOT motivated enough to go walking after getting the girls to bed around 10:00 in the dark, in a park, in the cold and wind... so I bagged it for the night.

Wednesday, February 11, I did weigh myself and I had indeed lost the three pounds I was hoping for! Just think what I could have lost if I hadn't eaten a quart of ice cream Friday night/Saturday morning, and all those chocolate mint truffles my sweetheart keeps buying for me! Wednesday was also the itty bitty cheerleaders' performance. I had to take off work early, pick up the girls from daycare, change their clothes and shoes, do their hair, and get them to the high school by 6:30 to pick up their T-shirts and get them settled in with the real cheerleaders... then an hour of watching a high school basketball game (against the Springville Red Devils - MY alma mater - no less)... half-time performance, picking up fast food on the way home, getting the girls fed, in pajamas and to bed. I reiterate, I was NOT motivated enough to go out and walk that late at night.

Thursday night, I had to help the girls with the Valentine's Day boxes and cards for not only their school classes, but also their daycare classes. ARGGGG!!! I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY! *muttering under my breath "stupid, made-up, card, candy, jewelry and flower-company 'holiday'"* Once again, I bagged the walking.

I don't even remember much of Friday, except I was at work until well after 5:00 and I was EXHAUSTED and coming down with a sore throat. It's just a blur.

Saturday, I had the beginning feeling of strep throat and I didn't do much of anything all day.

Sunday, I started taking antibiotics, could barely talk, had an appointment with my local clergy that took way longer than I thought it would, and then got word from my sister and my dad that my mom had suffered a stroke and was in the hospital. That's definitely another story altogether.

Monday (yesterday), I was stuck at work until 5:40, picked up my youngest at daycare, picked up flowers for my mom, then drove us all to see my mom at the hospital, picked up fast food on the way home again, and was completely exhausted by the time the girls were in bed.

I know what you're thinking... "excuses, excuses, excuses..." And you'd be right. I could have gotten up early and walked in the morning at 6:00, or at least cleaned up my living room floor and done some yoga. But, hey MAN, it's hard on me! :)

I'm sitting my niece and nephew again tonight, but maybe I'll have time to walk before they show up. I'm not promising anything though!